Lost (1/14/16)

Will I ever find what has been lost?
In months and years I count the cost,
Of trusting one who tore me down,
Who lied, abused and kicked around.
One who would never admit a wrong,
I stayed in that place for way too long.
It's me who questions myself every day,
Wondering what ever made me stay,
In an unhappy place so filled with dread,
Lost and broken, my heart and my head.
As hard as I try, I can't leave it behind,
That which was lost I've been unable to find.
But to trust, to love, to believe once more,
I may have to open the window and slam the door.

TLA
1/14/16

Misled (A Sonnet) 12/30/15

Whenever I think I’m on solid ground,

You pull me in and then push me away.

Then we start going around and around,

Not knowing what to expect day to day.

Please, oh please, I want you out of my head,

I’m tired of thinking there is a chance.

I won’t be another of your misled,

Getting lost in the shuffle of the dance.

I’ve been there before, won’t do it again,

It is something my heart cannot endure.

It doesn’t matter the why or the when,

Or the temptation and endless allure.

Get out of my head, leave me no sorrow,

You’re here today, please don’t be tomorrow.

TLA 12/30/15

Encourage (10/30/15)

Either build them up or let them go,
Just don't knock them down.
Be the hand they hold on to,
Not the one who watches them drown.
In this world of darkness and hate,
Be a light that shines through it all.
Stand up tall, don't turn your back,
Encourage them when they fall.
Be right there to pick them up,
And stand them on their feet.
Hold their hand, embolden them,
Never let them go down in defeat.

TLA 10/9/15-10/30/15

Lonely (a Sonnet) (10/30/15)

It is nights like these that I remember,
That I'm utterly and fully alone.
It's a few days away from November,
And here I am still living on my own.
I waited far too many years for you,
But cannot bring myself to trust again.
You'll never know all that you put me through,
Any more now than you ever did then.
Loneliness is a soul crushing feeling,
That I learned to hide behind a smile.
I'm spending my time always concealing,
Just how lonely I have been all the while.
And you, you never bothered to recall,
You left me lonely that night in late fall.

TLA 10/30/15

Give a Damn (10/30/15

I am not perfect,
Nor will I ever be,
I'm tired of pretending,
It's time that you see ME.
Keep your unkind words,
I don't want them here,
If you can't encourage,
I'd prefer you not come near.
I have spent too much time,
Trying much too hard,
Pleasing those who don't deserve,
My respect or my regard.
It's more than time that you accept,
That this is who I am,
Accept me or not; it doesn't matter,
Because I no longer give a damn.

TLA 10/30/15

Consideration (10/27/15)

You have your beliefs,
And I have mine,
They can be separate,
They don't have to align.
All I ask for,
Is a little respect,
Even when you think,
That I'm incorrect.
Just be civil,
And not hateful to me,
No need for fighting,
No need to agree.
We'll be okay,
With no altercation,
We'll get along,
With a little consideration.

TLA 8/7/15-10/27/15

Mine (10/27/15)

Yes, they try to say that you are not mine,
But you have been mine from the very start.
Who are these people who try and define,
The love I feel in the depth of my heart?
The moment I first held you in my arms,
Wrapped in a blanket, standing in the cold,
Looking up at me, smiling, with your charms,
More precious to me than a pot of gold.
But they took you away and tell you lies,
It takes everything I have to keep calm,
And I hope and pray that you realize,
No matter the lies, I am always mom.
Keep the faith because I am always here,
Keep the faith because your freedom is near.

TLA 6/13/15-10/27/15

Monster Within (10/25/15)

You talk of God,
While you cloak your sins,
Passing judgement,
With lies that you spin.
You wear your mask,
Which covers the hate,
That you camouflage,
As long as it's straight.
But sometimes it slips,
And the real you is seen,
The hate, the violence,
And the things in between.
You don't fool all,
Because some of us know,
You talk of God,
But it's all just for show.
Someday you'll fall,
And all will be plain,
The monster within,
Is what will remain.

TLA 2/24/15-10/25/15

Can't Let it Go (10/25/15)

Why can't I just let it go,
It was so many years ago,
But I had never felt so low,
That night you went and struck the blow.
I felt it then, I feel it now,
I thought it would be okay somehow,
But I still don't understand just how,
Beginning to end you could disavow.
You left me there, no answers clear,
And I've waited for you, year after year,
For you to somehow reappear,
And tell me what I've been waiting to hear.
There was nothing more for me to say,
And I've heard no word to this day,
You have always stayed away,
And refused to ever meet me halfway.

TLA 4/11/13-10/25/15

Outside (10/25/15)

Always on the outside,
Always looking in,
Never on the inside,
Always asking "when"?
When is it my turn,
When do I get my chance,
To come in off the sidelines,
When do I get to advance?
Advance to the next step,
Where I am looking out,
Never looking in again,
Can I ever take that route?

TLA 2/27/13-10/25/15