Your Eyes (7/17/16)

Your eyes pull me in,
They beg me to stay,
If not for tomorrow,
Then at least for today.
Your arms hold me tight,
They tell me, "Don't go,"
I just can't say yes,
But I just can't say no.
Your lips make me promises,
I know they won't keep,
I'll pretend I believe them,
As I drift off to sleep.

TLA 7/17/16

Darkness (7/3/16)

It may have started out as love,
But that's not where it ends,
It ends in hate and misery,
No longer lovers, no longer friends.
Lies create a chasm,
Where the light can never touch,
The darkness slowly closes in,
The heart can only take so much.
The love, it slowly fades away,
Hate will take its place,
The heart is filled with darkness,
And filled with empty space.

TLA 5/17/16-7/3/16

Two Sides of the Same Coin (7/3/26)

We are two sides of the same coin,
Different but still the same,
Approaching from different directions,
Both living with the shame.
I can't ever seem to stop,
And you can't seem to start,
Both with a common enemy,
That rips our lives apart.
We vow each day to stand our ground,
Each day a new day to begin,
Searching for strength to discover,
The strength that lies within.
So, my friend, give me your hand,
And we will hold on tight,
As we battle this common enemy,
And never give up the fight.

TLA 5/20/16-7/3/16

Another Time (7/3/16)

If we had met in another time,
Or in another place,
Would you ever have been mine,
When you gazed upon my face?
Or would you still have walked away,
In another direction,
Looking for something I'll never possess,
Still looking for perfection.
Could you look beyond my flaws,
And see me standing there,
Or would you simply pass me by,
Completely unaware?

TLA 4/13/16-7/3/16

Long Ago (7/3/16)

If I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep,
But never woke again,
Would you wish you hadn't let me go,
And turned away a friend?
Would you have held onto me tight,
And never let me go?
Or would you do what you already did,
For reasons I still don't know?
If I never woke again,
Would you even mourn?
Would a tear escape your eye,
Would your heart be torn?
Or have I been forgotten,
Just someone you used to know?
The someone you turned away from,
Just someone from long ago?

TLA 3/15/16-7/3/16

The Fool (6/6/16)

I am a fool to waste so many years,
Dreaming of you and waking with tears.
Day after day and night after night,
Trying to forget, but losing the fight.
Not wanting the memories of things that were said,
The ghost that is you won't get out of my head.
I want it buried and buried so deep,
So you can't visit the me in my sleep.
I want to wake up and never remember,
That night long ago; some time in November.
I don't want to remember the time that we spent,
Talking and laughing; your smile, your scent.
I want it all gone, I want it to go,
The memories of you from so long ago.
But the fool that I am, the fool I'll always be
Can never forget the words that you once said to me.

TLA 12/3/14-6/6/16

Aunt Mary (6/5/16)

It was a sad, sad day,
On that Sunday in May,
When all whispered goodbye,
But there was no reply.
Because her soul had flown,
Out to the great unknown,
This woman full of love,
Had left to rise above.
All the pain (so unfair),
Was no longer hers to bear,
Time had come for her to part,
This woman made of heart.

TLA 5/15/11-6/5/16

Memories (6/5/16)

And I cried all the way home,
Tears streaming down my face.
The road a blur as it passed on by,
With memories I can't outrace. 
As much as I try, they just won't leave,
They cut deeper than a knife.
Just as they fade (the dreams) they come,
And breathe into them new life.
It's been too long for them to live,
Why won't they go away?
Why do they torture my heart and mind?
When will they fade into yesterday?

TLA 2/18/16-6/5/16

Finding Strength (5/23/16)

Why can't I get out,
From under its grip,
Holding me tightly,
With never a slip.
Freedom is fleeting,
I can't get away,
Stuck in this moment,
Every night and day.
Will it ever end?
Can I overcome?
This thing that holds me,
What have I become?
I'm merely a slave,
Never in control,
But it all must end,
So I can be whole.
Do I have the strength?
Do I have the nerve?
Can I run away,
To what I deserve?
Somewhere I will find,
The strength that I need,
And never give up,
Until I succeed.

TLA 8/5/13-5/23/16

The Book Beside the Bed (5/22/16)

The book was still beside your bed,
The songs were still inside my head,
The words combined, both heard and said,
Promises of what lie ahead.
Then all was dashed that fateful night,
I climbed your stairs for some insight,
Instead was ordered from your sight,
Forced out for some imagined slight.
Tears were blinding as they fell,
And no one there with which to tell,
Wanting only to scream and yell,
There was no ending, no farewell.
That is how it stands to this day,
Books and songs never go away,
The words are there but they betray,
Left with nothing more to say.

TLA 4/25/11-5/22/16

Lies (5/16/16)

You live in your own reality,
Where truth just doesn't exist,
Where words are used as weapons,
And reason, so easily dismissed.
You twist the words to suit you,
Until you can no longer recognize,
The truth as it was stated,
And all that's left are lies.
The lies are never-ending,
Your deceit is nothing new,
The lies you spin are endless,
There is no truth in you.

TLA 5/16/16

Control (2/25/16)

The demon tries to rear its head,
It fills you up with fear and dread.
It stays and whispers in your ear,
And plays upon your every fear.
It wants your heart, it wants your soul,
It doesn't want you in control.
It claims it knows what's best for you,
Deep inside you know it's not true.
You know the truth and must defy,
This demon only knows to lie.
It's time to throw this demon out,
The lies, the fear and all the doubt.
You have the strength, reach deep within,
And help the healing to begin.
Banish the demon and take control,
Take back what's yours and make you whole.
You are worth much more than you know,
Time to release and let it show.
You're not a shadow, you're a light,
A special soul that burns so bright.

TLA 2/25/16

Forget (2/14/16)

If time was kind, it would let me forget.
It would leave me alone with no regret,
Memories erased, like we never met,
All new thoughts I know nothing about yet.

And you would have never asked me to go,
From the top of the stairs looking below,
Watching me walk away those years ago,
It would be easier to never know.

But forget it all, I just cannot do.
Our dance, your laugh, and just you being you.
All the times that you called, I can't undo,
After all these years it still feels so new.

Oh, time be so kind and just let it fade,
And think no more about being betrayed,
By memories that have never obeyed,
The memories that should never have stayed.

TLA 2/14/16

Frustration (A Sonnet) (2/14/16)

Frustration is being stuck in a place,
Where you will never find any control,
Banging your head against all time and space,
You can feel it in the depth of your soul.
Helpless because you cannot find your way,
Lost among the wants and needs of the few,
Trying to find your place just for today,
But never finding a way to break through.
Stuck in a prison where you hold no key,
Feelings of frustration you try to block,
Desperately fighting just to break free,
At the mercy of those guarding the lock.
Searching for the path that leads to release,
Hoping that one day you will find your peace.

TLA 9/24/14-2/14/16

Strong (2/14/16)

I just smile and pretend I'm strong,
When deep inside I know I'm wrong.
Emotions are pushed so deep inside,
Don't let them out; just let them hide.
Let no one know I'm at the end of my rope,
Pretend for a second that there's any hope.
Don't forget to smile through the pain,
Laugh and joke and never complain.
Play it strong no matter the cost,
And never admit that I feel lost.
I just smile and pretend I'm okay,
Because I've never known any other way.

TLA 8/5/14-2/14/16

Your Laugh (Mandi) (2/13/16)

It seems like only yesterday,
That you turned and said goodbye.
Not knowing that I'd never hear,
Your booming laugh nearby.
I still see you walk the halls,
Out of the corner of my eye.
My heart skips a beat a moment or two,
And then someone else passes by.
The phone, it rings, can it be you,
To tell us you're doing fine?
I pick it up, but hear no voice,
On the other end of the line.
But something tells me you are near,
That you never went away. 
It's in the laugh that I still hear,
Echoing from yesterday.

TLA 7/25/15-2/13/16

Stupidity 2/12/16

Oh, what stupidity,
To go back for another round,
After years of walking on eggshells,
And never making a sound.

To slip back in so easy,
To even think that there would be change,
Naïveté at its grandest,
My prison I arrange.

Yet to find so quickly,
That change does not really exist,
Feeling trapped with nowhere to escape,
When reality is dismissed.

There in prison did I stay,
Until I finally did break free,
The voice I thought I couldn't find,
I found inside of me.

Never again, not I,
Will I ever fall for the lies,
Never entangled in any web,
No matter the disguise.

TLA 2/12/16

Do You Remember (2/8/16)

Do you remember how we danced,
On that long ago night?
Do you remember how it felt,
When you held onto me tight?
I know I remember,
I didn't want you to let me go.
I still remember how we danced,
On that night so long ago.

TLA 2/8/16

Lost (1/14/16)

Will I ever find what has been lost?
In months and years I count the cost,
Of trusting one who tore me down,
Who lied, abused and kicked around.
One who would never admit a wrong,
I stayed in that place for way too long.
It's me who questions myself every day,
Wondering what ever made me stay,
In an unhappy place so filled with dread,
Lost and broken, my heart and my head.
As hard as I try, I can't leave it behind,
That which was lost I've been unable to find.
But to trust, to love, to believe once more,
I may have to open the window and slam the door.

TLA
1/14/16