Frozen in Place (8/4/15)

Forever standing on the dock,
Yet always miss the boat.
Trying, trying not to sink,
It's hard to stay afloat.
Grabbing hard with all your might,
But can never get a grip.
Holding fast to what you know,
Yet always feel it slip.
Wanting to take a step away,
And join in on the race.
Running, running away from it all,
But forever frozen in your place.

TLA 8/4/15

Do I Dare? (8/3/15)

I ask myself, "Do I dare love again?"
When it never brought anything but pain.
I tell myself it's not worth it, but then,
Should I allow loneliness to remain?

It is possible to put it behind?
All the misery, the pain and deceit?
Or will it always be there to remind,
That love has always gone down in defeat?

I try to decide if it's worth my heart,
To take the risk of additional break.
To leave it intact or break it apart,
And take the chance of another mistake.

And I sit here with no answers to share,
So I keep asking myself, "Do I dare?"

TLA 8/3/15

Contradiction (7/23/15)

I was never hip, I was never cool,
Always hopeful, yet always the fool.
I am the lonely, even in a crowd,
Realistic, but my thoughts in a cloud.
Wanting to belong, but always stood out,
Craving confidence, but always in doubt.
Wanting to think that I am ten feet tall
Wishing I didn't always feel so small.
Worrying how I will get through the day,
Somehow knowing it will all be okay.

TLA 7/23/15

Questions (7/23/15)

How could the sadness in the eyes be missed?
Why is there loneliness when the lips are kissed?
When is there time when you have been dismissed?
Where is the soul when you only exist?
Where can you go when there's no where to run?
When will it end when it's only begun?
Why reach for more when you know there is none?
How could the sadness ever be undone?

TLA 7/23/15

Remember When (7/19/15)

Remember when, so very long ago,

When I thought the two of us were good friends?

All the times we spent, oh how could I know,

That in time, all things will come to an end.

Remember when you asked me to leave you?

And yet you wouldn't explain to me why,

After all these years if you only knew,

How much it killed me to tell you good-bye.

Remember the card that you sent me?

A year after that heart-breaking fall night?

A Christmas card with your apology,

And yet, still no explanation in sight.

It will be eighteen years in November,

I wonder if you even remember.

TLA 7/19/15

Homecoming 5/25/15

It was a cold night so long ago,
I walked through the crowds on the street,
The cold didn't matter, the wind could blow,
Nothing could make me retreat.
I stood there; I watched; I waited,
'Til the sound of the sirens blared,
Down the road they came, celebrated,
"We're home," the sirens declared.
Then came the flashes to lighten the night,
Then came the red, white and blue,
There was never a more beautiful sight,
Than when the buses first came into view.
The first of the soldiers were finally here,
We clapped and waved and we cried,
Every bus, every soldier received our good cheer,
Our hearts filled with love and with pride.
Walking home in the dark, it was then that I knew,
That soon it would be my turn,
To watch the buses come into view,
Signaling my soldier's return.

TLA 5/25/15

Lessons 1/14/15

I've grown so weary,
Of the words that you speak.
You think me desperate,
You think I'm weak.
Yet there were lessons,
The lessons you taught;
Believe in no lies,
And have my own thoughts.
Don't take the abuse,
Hold my head high,
Know when it's over,
And when to say, "Goodbye."
The words that you spew,
No longer have control,
Since I sent you packing,
And made myself whole.

TLA 9/11/14-1/14/15

Mandi

Thunder boomed,

Lightening flashed,

Rain came down,

Winds lashed.

So very loud,

Oh, so bright,

Both storm and you,

Flash in the night.

A mighty storm,

Yells the sky,

Loud and clear,

Was your goodbye.

TLA 7/30/14-1/9/15

Character

Do not put your words in my mouth,

And keep your thoughts out of my head.

There's no room for your idle talk,

I have my life to live instead.

Put away your hateful deceit,

Or find the tables turned on you.

Before you know it the lies turn,

And the shower of shame ensues.

So could you do me a favor?

Walk away and never come back. 

What I possess is character,

It's one thing you will always lack.

TLA 8/24/14-1/9/15

Youth

Nov 5, 2014/Jan 7, 2015

Up on stage,

Maybe seventeen,

In a black mini-skirt,

With crimped blond hair.

Singing about

The metro; maybe a soldier.

The lights flashing,

The music up loud.

So long ago.

Now the metro

Is long silent,

Mini-skirt hung up.

Memories of youth.